A week or so ago, my wife convinced me that my two-year old son would really enjoy attending the local Christmas parade. Not wanting to be the Scrooge of the family, I willingly complied, and spent an hour or so of my Saturday morning at the Clinton, MS Christmas parade. To be clear, if the words, “Christmas parade” cause you to think of Macy’s, enormous inflatable Underdogs, or Miracle on 34th Street, let me dissuade you from that impression. If you substitute Dollar General for Macy’s, pick up trucks for inflatable balloons, and The Santa Clause III for Miracle on 34th Street, you are beginning to get close to my reality. Here are some observations that came to me on that Saturday morning.
Greed and Giving
Is there anything that more readily excites our inherent greedy natures than the prospect of receiving something for free? We may be utterly unaware of the grip a certain object has on our hearts until confronted with the promise that we may soon (and without charge) possess it. Only then do we realize our hearts are engulfed by the prospect of this thing, the desire of which, though quiet and still in a dormant state, is quick to blossom, and when nourished with the waters of opportunity, sprout forth thick, gnarly roots far and wide. OK, it was just a bunch of kids and candy, but their behavior, I think, proves the point.
This parade was broadly organized around the common activity of throwing hard candy (after all, nothing gets me into a feverish Christmas cheer quite like a barrage of hard candies). What cheap, plastic beads are to Mardi Gras, peppermint candies are to the Clinton Christmas parade. Mercifully, what tawdry crowd responses are to Mardi Gras, just plain ole-fashioned greed is to the Christmas parade. And so, as car, truck, and the occasional “float” passed by, and hard candy rained down upon us, kids (and their parents – even grandparents!) began the time-honored Christmas tradition of hoarding. Shimmering wrappers tumbling through the air held out the promise of sweet candy delight. Then these treats would so often be broken to pieces as they fell upon the hard pavement—and one would think, so too the crowd’s interest in collecting these fallen candies—but then the malaise of children (and parents – and grandparents!) would gather ‘round and scoop up all the serviceable pieces, and the Christmas tradition would continue.
The family standing beside us knew the game and came prepared, apparently issuing each child a large plastic bag in which he or she could collect their parade booty. Now this family appeared to be no strangers to holiday sweets, and so far as I could tell, could easily afford to purchase their own candies, yet as these complimentary Christmas candies rained down, this family would dash hither and yon, cutting in front of other children (and their parents – and grandparents!) in order to add one more peppermint to the growing collection. By the end of the parade, each child had loaded up a goodly portion for all their efforts, but why so much effort? Even at the end of it all, they had collected perhaps two dollar’s worth of candy. . . .maybe. It would have been immensely easier simply to purchase the candy and avoid all the toil of outmaneuvering the other parade-goers, far better to have candy not shattered by the fall from flatbed to roadside, and to shop for that candy in a climate-controlled environment. But the prospect of a gift unleashed the latent greediness, causing one grandmother to enviously eye the sucker some clown handed my two-year old.
What Would Luther Think?
I understand that we live in a pluralistic society, and I understand that to a large extent, the laws and constitutions of our land ensure that pluralism will exist. I will also readily admit my desire to protect that pluralism so long as it protects my freedom to worship God as His word, my church, and conscience regulate. But I must profess that it is still disturbing to witness the float advertising the Church of Latter Day Saints follow right after the several cars and trucks carrying the local Lutheran candy-throwers. In the span of 30 seconds, I was given literature explaining the candy cane as a Christian candy (something about its stripes and colors and shape, I think) along with an invitation to come visit the Lutheran church, and an invitation to join the Mormons. I can just imagine Luther riding in the back of Melancthon’s pick-up, cheerfully throwing candies to the masses, perfectly content for his message to compete with the slick marketing of some cult group. Right.
By the way, why is it that cults are so good at marketing? In a parade lasting nearly an hour in which hundreds of vehicles/groups passed in front of me, I could only pick out one as something I would describe as a true parade float – of course, it came from the Mormons. Reenacted before my very eyes were several scenes from the classic Dr. Seuss Christmas story, complete with a perfectly costumed Grinch. These Latter Day Saints really know how to decorate a flatbed, and if the crowds were judging ecclesiastical bodies accordingly, the Christians were put to shame.
Maybe such a judgment is one of the necessary consequences of participating in such events. I understand the need for churches to reach out into their communities, and the right impulse for a church to be a part of the local consciousness of the people, and perhaps there is something to be said for participating in such community activities. But another part of me wonders about the overall effect achieved by the several churches who decorated a car and followed in line with countless other civic and business organizations. Here comes the local dentist (they handed out kids' toothbrushes), the dance studio, the Missionary Baptist church, each advertising what they have to offer. I came away with the impression that the gospel was just another commodity to advertise and the churches little more than proprietors of their goods, anxiously vying for my attention.
Barbie Doll Culture
I live in the South, which means positively that when I attend a Christmas parade, I can go without scarf and gloves; negatively, it means that I am going to be exposed to the pageant winners. Beauty pageants are for southern communities what labor unions are to northeastern industrial communities – a time-honored tradition that no one questions. Ever. Just as you don’t have to ask a truck driver in Buffalo, NY if he’s a part of Local 499, there is little doubt that every good Southern belle has at one time or another been Little Miss such and such. If my unscientific impressions are correct, something approaching half of the parade participants were associated with one kind of “pretty girl” contest or another. We were graced with the presence of Miss Mississippi, Miss Hinds County, Miss Clinton, Miss Junior Clinton, Miss Little Clinton, Miss Petite Clinton, and all the first, second, and third runners-up they could round up. We had the Homecoming and Prom Queens from the local high school, complete with accompanying court. Other civic societies also wanted to recognize their prettiest members, and so the parade of tiaras, formal gowns, and convertibles continued. Not to be outdone, one of the local churches even entered some of their members, advertising them as Miss such and such. And, of course, trailing her were the first, second, and third runners-up.
Is there any wonder that we have such highly sexualized society when up to half of the entrants in a Bible belt community’s parade are chosen on the basis of physical beauty? What are we instilling in the hearts and minds of these contestants when we so celebrate their appearances? Is it too strong to suggest that there is a discernable line from contests that reward physical beauty straight to the Larry Flints and Hugh Heffners of the world? Maybe. But I would suggest that there are more than a few parallels between the two.
Predictably, the winner from the “Woman of Noble Character Contest” was absent from the festivities.
